“Please” and “Thank You,” Why be Polite in the Modern World?
Neat language can be the velvet glove around an iron fist, a regressive bar to social change.
Humans have come quite far. From grunts and howls to nods and speeches. The elements that constitute our communication have evolved with us. In my sociology class, I learned that human communication is not the most effective in the animal kingdom; contrarily, it is characterized by long delivery, difficult acquisition, and ambiguous meanings.
Ink falls on the paper. Can it land in your mind?
I’ll entertain you with this article written in characteristically human text. However, entertain my detachment and observe just how fragile human language can be.
Although our understanding of animal communication is limited, we do know that in dolphins, for example, calls of joy, loss, and fear are distinct.
Humans on the other hand are complicated. Although they pride themselves on this simian invention called “language,” it has had its benefits and downsides. Yes, it has preserved their culture and heritage and history yada yada… WHO CARES. Even then, it is flawed. Certain languages are forgotten or lost to time; then, even with their obsession with digging up things from the dirt, they cannot grasp the faintest idea of the subject of the text. When the ancient Assyrians’ hammers fell on stone, they could land with remarkable precision, communicating complex stories and thoughts.
Then humans have this nuisance called figurative speech. I believe I used it twice above. Or once. See, to you, dear human readers, seeing which of the above-falling strokes is figurative remains easy. Imagine now if I were to present this to a far more intelligent life form, with communication systems that do not necessitate the usage of fantastical imagery to convey a message that the system cannot communicate otherwise. It would either laugh or bawl.
The flaw of human language is in itself its beauty. In an ideal communication system, imagination wouldn’t be necessary. The system would perfectly convey any message with no need for the use of subjective imagery. Yet, humans’ inability to create an efficient communication system has paved the way to excellence in imperfection. One such aspect of this excellence is the language of politeness.
Putting down your arms to signal friendship is not a necessity these days — mostly. But putting down your arms to signal friendship is absolutely necessary.
Today, polite language is used as a linguistic, passive sign of nonaggression and friendship. Wielding polite language is like not wielding a weapon. Not wielding polite language is like wielding a weapon.
If you can see the benefits that’s great because the whole of modern society is based on polite neutral language. However, I beg you to look at the darker side. It’s true that politeness permits us to function normally in professional, political, and social settings, but it also blunts proper communication on grave issues.
Think of this: your coworker has been stealing your pens at the office incessantly. After failing to resolve it directly with him, you send HR an email.
“Greetings, I hope you’re well. I send you this email to lodge a complaint against my coworker — enter name — for repeatedly using my material without communicating to me his need. I would be happy to provide input on solving this issue upon your request. Many thanks for your cooperation.”
Corporate ick. Now, in a totally different scenario, your coworker harasses you on your way home. You, my friend, send an email phrased almost exactly like the one above. After all, you’re forced to. If you politely speak your mind, your case is deemed unimportant. If you passionately express yourself — given the urgency of the matter — you are told to stop being dramatic.
No, the social constructs that are designed to blame the victim are not a result of language. Sexism is not a result of language.
No, the men and women that dismiss victims are not justified because language is inefficient. But language is inefficient.
No, language is not the cause of all our struggles, and injustices. Oppression is not the result of language.
But, communicating urgency is difficult.
But, communicating efficiently is nearly impossible.
But, oppression without language is impossible.
Especially in a world that demands polite language as a prerequisite for proper communication. Polite, sanitized lingo does not ring the alarm bells of climate change, racism, sexism, and dictatorship. When you talk politely you signal that you’re ready to negotiate. Sometimes, issues are not negotiable.
Human rights are not negotiable. Free access to healthcare is not negotiable. Living wages are not negotiable. Yet, we are expected to talk politely in the bureaucracies of government to make our points. Or bury our true intent beneath the sophisticated language of academic essays. Or hide inaction beneath bombastic hollow words like “strongly condemns” or “is deeply concerned.”
If the ink must fall violently. Can you catch it still?
To hell with the confines of polite speech. Say what must be said. There is no need to exaggerate and inflate, but to communicate crime, tragedy, and injustice, one needs more than this stale brand of academic, polite, whitewashed, bland, and tasteless English.
Language can be beautiful for its power to cut through minds and hearts. It is a weapon to be wielded by its masters as a force for good or evil. Language, even in its most terrifying uses of propaganda and brainwashing, is power.
Polite language in society is the equivalent of using a wooden stick while fighting monsters with claws. Or, a neatly choreographed dance of blades where not a drop of blood is spilled
Polite language has brought us far. But for ages, the current of true intent and meaning has pushed against polite constraints. Good protests are not polite. Good protests express anger as it is, through words unrestrained. Humans have honed a weapon that does not cut flesh, but tears through souls. Cutting flesh is deplorable and illegal, but when the same can be said of cutting souls, then language is no more worth speaking.
Hey, you made it. Thank you for reading through to the very end. If you enjoyed this article, please consider clapping (as hard as you can) and following for more content. Thanks for stopping by! — Ivan
