Beyond “Just a Game”… How D&D Became a Story of Hope in Troubled Times
The story of how table-top role-playing pulled me out of depression and anxiety
Since before the birth of human consciousness, the winds of time have dragged our kind through the hurricanes of destiny and the blizzards of fate. And for long, Escapism has been our shelter: a safe-space of warmth not cold, a haven of tranquility not volatility.
With the approach of COVID-19’s momentous storm, we sought refuge in our homes which became our castles, our offices, and our gardens. As the stability of the human race was at stake, the Titanic of hopes sunk in an ocean of kidnapped dreams… I, for instance, was robbed like many my age, of an essential stage of social development.
As I watched the Titanic sink, I needed oh so desperately to Escape into a world where I could matter, where my actions could change the world. Lo and behold, Dungeons & Dragons became my escape, my solace, and my respite. And oh how grateful I am for it’s presence in my life. This is the tale of how a boy hid from the world when it was masked in a miasma of sickness and fear.
The Story
March 2020
Lying on my bed, I was binging some YouTube videos, an unfortunate habit at the time, when I stumbled upon a video by a creator I used to watch frequently. It was showcasing a group of people trying D&D for the first time. After watching it through, I had taken a liking to the idea, and began preparing a lengthy pitch for my elder brother.
Before though; some background.
- D&D is tabletop, meaning its similar in practice to a game like Monopoly or Scrabble. Dungeons and Dragons is a game where every player takes the role of a character, and personifies that character’s ideals, personality traits, quirks, etc.. There is one Dungeon Master or Game Master that tells the story and sets the stage for the players’ characters.
- A middle schooler at the time, I was the ex-theater/choir kid turned writer/orator that loves politics and social issues. The assessment is quite in its place to be clearly honest, and I still embrace that identity. Ever since I participated in a middle-school Model United Nations conference, it sparked an interest in the world around me and a love for all things writing and public speaking. You can see how D&D sounded like an awesome idea.
April 2020
April 2020 was a rough time for many of us, with harsh lockdown rules, no school, lack of any meaningful social contact… It was all… painful, hurtful even. I felt like a zombie needing a sweet release from social media and the mainstream news. I felt a craving to socialize, to connect, to forge bonds. At the time, I was, like many others my age, deprived of a key phase of socialization and social development. This craving for anything meaningful led me to D&D where my actions could have that meaning.
For D&D veterans out there, I did the fatal mistake of assuming the more challenging role of Dungeon Master without prior experience. I ran a short-lived and uninspiring campaign over discord for my brother and his friends. Most of them were veteran D&D players, and I still question why none suggested being a player before starting my DMing career. That aside, I was enjoying myself, albeit not too much.
The problem, I had noticed, was not that the game was torturous or difficult. Quite the contrary: I found grasping the game’s mechanics a shockingly simple endeavor.
It was that the people whom I played with were not people I had prior connections to. To a person starting out in D&D, it is beyond essential to have a shepherd guiding them through the sometimes tedious process of preparing for a game session.
In my opinion, the presence of a “shepherd” is not a prerequisite exclusive to D&D. It is my belief that for a person to enjoy a new activity, whether it be yoga classes or reading books, the presence of a guiding hand is necessary. This is of course to ease the accession of the newcomer into the hobby, and to show him/her the glittering wonders awaiting down the road.
May, June, July 2020
Throughout these months of 2020 I was still trying to find my place in D&D and figure out what I enjoyed most in the game. Without a shepherd, that process was tedious, and even strenuous at times. I fulfilled various roles in multiple campaigns, including my brother’s campaign which unfortunately ended prematurely due to scheduling issues. I also ran a popular premade module (story) for a group that I cherished very much.
But all good things must come to an end, and as my brother’s campaign ground to a halt, and my enthusiasm with the premade module dwindled, I had to find a solution. After 2 failed campaigns as a DM, I decided to give it one more shot with a campaign that was of my own creation, unconstrained by premade stories or lore. It was the flight of a free bird.
August 2020
I collected a group of my closest best friends and gave them my pitch. They were all on board to begin a new adventure in the setting I had created. “The Raging Fire of Azagul,” it was called.
I ran my first session of the Raging Fire of Azagul over discord and it was a hilarious failure. Despite that, I felt something I hadn’t felt in any of the previous campaigns. I felt that I had a connection with my players, possibly due to the fact that they were all my closest friends.
Session after session, our bond was seared with the iron of permanence, and running around Elturel (that being a fictional city in our world) became a monthly necessity for our friendship.
2021 — Present
As this lengthy tale has demonstrated, friendship-turned-brotherhood was far from the first outcome that arose from my venture into Table-top Role-playing. It began with difficulties and some of them continue still. But they all culminated in what I consider to be my early D&D Magnum Opus: “Terra Prima,” the world that we had together created.
Since the beginning of 2021, Terra Prima went through many ups and downs, with multiple players leaving and newcomers being introduced and then leaving again.
And yet…
Despite the rocky times that the friend group has gone through, and despite the many players that have left… the bond we forged with each other over these many years is difficult to sever. We together, escape together, and fight dragons together, in the magical world of Terra Prima.
The Verdict
Well. That story was lengthier than I had expected.
With this story I wish to bring forth a message of hope. When you think you are isolated, do know that there are others like you, struggling to find the Escape that will let them soar like a free bird in the skies above.
For me, that Escape was Dungeons & Dragons, a game that set me free of my imprisonment at home during a turbulent time.
I had found solace in this fantasy and in this fiction. It became the space to which I retreat in times of distress. D&D became the place where my writing improved. Terra Prima became the place where I grew. Today, I find Terra Prima to be a part of me even though I am not in the slightest as involved in managing it as I once was. Hopefully, the tale of Terra Prima concludes this summer in its time — not too early, not too late.
For you, your Escape might not be D&D, but every person does have a right to an Escape, whatever it may be. It could be anything from listening to a relaxing playlist, learning your favorite instrument, or even watching your favorite series. I discuss what to Escape and where to Escape in this article.
But if you want to try out D&D as a useful safe-space to Escape to, then I can offer some of the following resources.
Useful things to do
- If you are willing to go digital and have some money on your hands, then I recommend checking out D&D Beyond
- Check out your local game store for physical copies of the core rule-books
- Try and talk to some friends who might be D&D players and ask if they could fold you into their game
- There are many online communities that you could connect and try out the game with, but I still advocate for in-person D&D with good friends.
Conclusion
In the face of the endless blizzards of life, it is safe to affirm that every person deserves to venture into an array of available safe-spaces where they can Escape from their everyday worries and troubles.
You might be going through a rough patch, and it isn’t guaranteed that D&D is the right activity for you; however, if you haven’t already, do look into what became my escape, my solace, and my respite: Dungeons & Dragons.
Giving out 1 dragon-baked cookie for every clap you leave!
Some of the terminology used here is heavily explained in the previous article, so I highly recommend you check it out.
Hey, you made it. Thank you for reading this article through to the very end! It was very different from what I usually do but I just had to share my experience. If you liked it, don’t forget to leave a clap (or many claps) and follow me for more articles. Sharing also helps me reach more people with my work!
